then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize