just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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