Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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