I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
