I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
