don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
