Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
