the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize