worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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