We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize