I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
