Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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