You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.