Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.