I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???