That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag