Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
