I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
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