There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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