I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.