You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
what food is Colorado known for?