Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.