I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
