The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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