I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
