All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
