why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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