You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Me. At least after what I've been through.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
