i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
