North Korea, Best Korea!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Randomize
