Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Still dying that you shit outside
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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