I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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