And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
