My brain says no but my pants say off.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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