She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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