We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
