what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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