Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
