He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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