If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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