My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
