Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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