i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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