Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
