I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
