I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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