I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
