Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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