Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
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