my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
