Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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