just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
