we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
