My balls are so social today.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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