i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
