I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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