you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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