i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I am never drinking with the goths again.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize