I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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