Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
