He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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