you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
