Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
