The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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